Well Mommy, Christmas has come and gone. Honestly it was and never will be the same without you. I hope you got to see all the kids sending balloons to you in heaven. It was so bittersweet. We cried a lot. But I have to say the hardest part so far was cleaning out your closet and dresser. I don't know how we made it through that. Serena and Kayden were such a big help. Of course everyone wanted to keep everything. All your Yankee shirts, 49ers and Giants...lol. I can still hear you yelling at all the teams. We had to smell everything as well. Jodie and the girls could smell you. I thought it all smeklled the same. But I have your perfume in the car that I spray once a week so I can feel like you are with me. Which by the way.... the other night I swear you were behind me. I almost fell to the ground. If you are there, please let me know. I don't know how to start a new year without hearing your voice. You are the first person I call. It will be so hard to be happy at midnight and be thankful. I hope you and Mim ring in the new year the right way..... sitting by a slot machine winning lots of money. I miss you so much mommy that it is hard to breathe sometimes. I love you Mommy and Happy New Year in heaven...